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OUR TWO MOST COMMON ways of trying to address our toughest social challenges are the extreme ones: aggressive war and submissive peace. Neither of these ways works. We can try, using our guns or money or votes, to push through what we want, regardless of what others want-but inevitably the others push back. Or we can try not to push anything on anyone-but that leaves our situation just as it is.

We cannot address our tough challenges only through driving towards self-realization or only through driving towards unity. We need to do both. Often we assume that all it takes to create something new-whether in business or politics or technology or art-is purposefulness or power. This is because we often assume that the context in which we create is an empty world: an open frontier, a white space, a blank canvas. In general this assumption is incorrect.

The mother, by contrast, embodying feminine love, stays at home to raise the children. The generative side of her love is that she gives life, literally to her child and figuratively to her whole family. The degenerative side of her love is that she can become so identified with and embracing of her child and family that she denies their and especially her own need for self-realization, and so stunts their and her own growth.[4]

I have seen many examples of reckless and abusive power without love, and many examples of sentimental and anemic love without power. I have seen far fewer examples of power with love. Too few of us are capable of employing power with love. More of us need to learn.

HOW CAN WE ADDRESS our toughest challenges? How can we break through our most entangled, stuck problems? How can we create social change?

Over these twenty years, I have made two discoveries. I reported the first one five years ago in Solving Tough Problems: An Open Way of Talking, Listening, and Creating New Realities. In that book I concluded that the key to creating new social realities is to open ourselves up and connect: to our own true selves, to one another, and to our context and what it demands of us.

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Five years and many experiences later, I can see that this conclusion was right, but only half right, and dangerously so.

Many times during the past twenty years, I have been handed alternative interpretations of my own stories. I am moving along confidently, and then somebody says something that shows me things are not at all the way I think they are. Through such disciplined re-viewing of my own experiences, I have gradually built up my understanding of the dynamics of social change.

“虽然就在当初的时候，面前的这些个事情，我们还是完全没去弄清楚，不过至少现在通过这一点的时候我们就应该去想想办法的。”

“看来现在这附近的状况是真的已经多不的。既然如此，那么现在我们就只能想一想其他解决的办法。”

“你知不知道如果南城的百姓知道，你居然是这样的一个人，到最后的时候，他们会怎么做？不管怎么样，至少现在我是希望你能够想明白的。”

南宫看着他们，所有人都已经把他给包围住的时候，自然是忍不住的松一口气，毕竟现在不管怎么样，他的目的到现在确实是已经达到。

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“面前的这些个状况全部都变成这个样子的话，就在当初的时候，我是没有跟你开玩笑的，至少现在的情况是真的处理在这。”

“很多个事情，如果继续这样下去的话，就算是继续这样待着，至少面前的这一个情况我们是全部都知道的，不管怎么样，也就希望你们能够明白过来。”

张旭看着面前这些个家伙都已经到这样一个地步，可是在面对这些个状况的时候，居然还在如此之笨的模样，她就已经在一旁摇摇头。接下来的状况下，就算是继续这样下去，恐怕也不可能。

如今青州黄巾军已经基本平定，残存的大部分势力都被曹操收编组成了后来曹操麾下的步军主力之一，青州军。

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